Feeling bad !

Just now di di and ko ko keep playing in their room and don't want to sleep no matter how I scold them. Finally I have run out of the patient and beat them with cane 'kau kau' !!!! and shouted like mad woman:'Why you want to make mummy angry and beat you ?? !!! Why can't you listen to mummy ???!!!!' Finally they quiet and lied down properly to sleep. Suddently ko ko called: 'Mummy........' I immediately shouted :'Quiet !! mummy don't want to listen to you !! you faster go to sleep !!!' so he quiet and continue to sleep. Suddently I feel bad shouting at him like this so I take a deep breath and asked him : 'ok, ko ko what are you trying to tell mummy ?' He said: 'Sorry.......' Suddently my heart melted and feel very very bad !!! Why can't I control my emotion ? I shouldn't shouted at kids like this ......I'm not a good mother !!! I cried in my heart !! After that I told him : 'You know, mummy also don't like to beat you because when mummy beat you mummy will feel the pain too....so you should understand and try not to make mummy angry.....it is already very late and it is time to sleep....' He nodded his head and said : 'I think I drink too much tea today.......' I asked :'so you can't sleep because of this ? ' He nodded his head again....sighs.....I feel really bad I should find out the reason first before throwing the temper......Ko ko and di di, mummy want to say sorry to you too ......SORRY my boys !!!!